It seems most of us spend a lifetime seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, it’s definitely a human instinct to avoid being hurt, injured or affected by something either emotionally or physically.
Why is it that some people seem to attract more pain than others? What is your perception of pain anyway? To me pain is watching a movie that has a torture scene in it, or violence of any type. This I find disturbing. I can’t do it! I just can’t watch someone else experiencing discomfort, it’s excruciating for me, however some people are sadistically attracted to seeing another person suffering. Another thing I find really hard to endure is watching someone breaking down on stage, a comedian going flat, and just dying in front of his audience. Oh I feel that pain!
Another pain is being misjudged, now that can cause me huge pain, and probably the most painful thing for me personally is losing someone I love, it’s just so hard, it’s like an ache that seems to become part of my anatomy, and gradually, ever so gradually softens to a dull pang as the time goes by.
That intense ache will become a background pang and is always there on some level. When my dear mum in law passed away back in November 2004 I remember absolutely howling during her funeral. I couldn’t believe how much emotion was pouring out of me. I realised later, it wasn’t just about losing my dear mum in law, it was also about leaving my beloved North Queensland and all the emotion and pain around that was triggered as I sat staring at the dark brown coffin. Pain amplified because of ‘the perfect emotional storm’. Three things happening at once! Death, moving house, losing identity. Yep, I know what pain feels like and I certainly embrace pleasure.
You can’t know a sunny day without experiencing a bitter cold one. You can’t feel profound joy without knowing extreme heartache, it’s all life, and how you deal with it will ultimately determine how you stay healthy or decline. These things are here for you to ponder, and know that when you are in your darkest hour that you will get through that time, and the pleasure will come back again. It’s a cycle, an inevitable cycle! When one person seems to be enduring more than their fair share of pain, you wonder, ‘how can that person survive?’ How can they cope with what they are going through? I think it’s because on some level it’s part of their creation, their bidding. In creating your own suffering you are also creating a biological support crew until you mentally instruct that crew to knock off!
Pain is inevitable, it teaches us so much, and when we allow ourselves to relax into the bosom of what pain is trying to teach us, then we can further move towards that magnificent human experience, ‘pleasure’! Pleasure is what we seek, when we go for an ice-cream. Pleasure can be the taste of the creamy sweet mix of cacao raw cake that melts in the mouth! Pleasure is the feeling of sunlight on the face, after being in the shadow of the cold southern wind, or the warm and inviting aroma of apple crumble with cinnamon. Pleasure is the response to doing something amazing for the first time, and accomplishing something by yourself or with others.
Pleasure, it’s the driving force for everything we do and often in seeking pleasure we experience pain. Falling in love – Pleasure, breaking up – Pain; Finding a pet and raising this animal – Pleasure, losing it in death – Pain. Creating a garden – Pleasure; – watching it being ruined by hail – pain!
When it comes to our health and the Art of being Well, we are constantly aware of our pleasure and pain level by experiencing these every day occurrences that can create havoc in our emotional immune systems. I use the term ‘emotional immune systems’, because we are deeply guided by our emotions in all that we perceive. There are beautiful things we can do to build up the emotional muscle if you like, and maintain the weight of ‘life’, which will throw everything at you and more.
Here are several ideas I have for building emotional muscle to help with the inevitable pain of lifes circumstances.
1. Use Essential Oils every day – the word ‘Essential’ is not in front of ‘oils’ because it looks good, essential oil blends like ‘Doterra Balance, and Elevation, Citrus Bliss and Lavender Peace are outstanding emotional support blends. You will have to check out my presentation on these oils, I have a slightly different take than the convention perspective. Using these oils helps to ease the ‘bounce off affect’ the reaction time to things that pop up to hurt you.
2. Drink purified water, even when you are not thirsty because water lubricates the mind and the employees of your body so they can deal with the inner cyclones and catastrophies of cellular revolt!
3. Do something really nice for someone else, but don’t tell anyone about it, just do it! Don’t expect anything from that person – no agenda! The benefits of that effort will flow through your whole being in a positive way = Pleasure.
4. Write down all the things that give you pleasure and strive to include them in your day. Be careful that somebody elses pain is not a direct result of you seeking your pleasure!
5. Prepare yourself emotionally for things that can be unexpected by allowing some quiet time every day and just thinking, being still. This is by far the most beneficial thing you can do.
6. When you find yourself feeling a little bit sad or low, acknowledge the feeling – observe the pain and imagine the time ahead when the pain or sad feeling will pass. What will that look like, what will it feel like? Anchor this feeling with an essential oil. (note: See Annie about anchoring – or phone 0402 166 187).
7. Build up a ‘gratitude diary’, this is so cool. Write down the things you are thankful for, tell people every chance you get how grateful you are for a lift in their car, a drink they shouted you, a kind word they shared. Tell people what you love about them often, this is the most powerful thing you can do for building up emotional muscle, cause you will help them to feel amazing and you will feel even better.
When you are experiencing your worst times, your hardest moments, look at the pain in a different light and see what it is teaching you. A little child learns very quickly when they reach out to the pretty flickering flame of a candle that it burns. They instinctively know not to do it again, because they remember the sensation of the burning flame on their finger – Pain!
My son was only 2 years old when he put his hand on the hot pressure cleaner that my husband had only just been using. Within seconds the hand came up with one huge blister. He cried and grimaced and cried some more, then we placed his hand in a bowl of water on his high chair, put on a DVD for him to watch and eventually he fell asleep on the chair with his hand in the bowl of water. The distraction was great, the water kept the oxygen away from the burn, and pain turned to pleasure with the humour of the DVD (I think the movie was Ice Age if you are wondering?).
We helped him through is pain with a little distraction, a little first aid, and an essential oil (Lavender), and before you knew it, the world was good again. The memory of the scolding stayed infused in my son’s memory. Overtime he looked at that Pressure Cleaner as the monster in the room, it represented pain to him, so he steered clear of it. He became acutely aware of hot surfaces, and more cautious around anything that had a motor. This was the good news about the sensation of pain, it taught him to be ‘AWARE’.
I have always liked the analogy of “what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger!”, but I have another one to add to that…. “what causes you pain will make you go into action!” Action means change, shifting and a release of stagnant energy now flowing with new experiences, new beginnings.
Pain can be our friend, and Pleasure can be our reward. When we accept that pain is part of life, we can use its clipboard of lessons for our benefit, therefore creating a chemistry of healing and awesome results.
If you like where I’m coming from and want to be at one of my next workshops (full of pleasure by the way), look for my next workshop using essential oils, meditation, raw food and wholesome food and extraordinary lessons for good living –http://bewell.com.au/store/seminars-speaking
Blessings Annie Clark